For as long as I can remember I’ve had masses of thoughts about many weird and wonderful things rumbling around in my head. It’s why I’ve never really felt lonely or bored – there’s just always been so much scrambling for my attention. Life, however, can sometimes take over. It becomes important to monetize one’s skills so that bills can be paid, and family supported. I always knew, though, that there was a part of myself being shoved into a dim corner, not given a chance to emerge and discover its own vitality.
I had tried before, to give this voice and my thoughts some space. But, I made the naïve mistake of trying to do so in a way that would reach the appreciation of many people. My writing at that point relied on events and the creativity of the society around me, and sure it was published in the national newspaper where I lived at that point. But it didn’t satisfy me, and it didn’t fulfil that desire I had to share my inner voice – those quirky thoughts that carry the flavour of my personality.
It was only when two very powerful things happened that I started to find the right niche for my ruminations.
The first was that I moved home yet again. I am quite a transplant you see; I’ve lived in 5 countries and 9 cities to date. And while I had lived in rural areas before, this time I had moved to an area that was not only rural but also quite remote. All of a sudden there was a huge expanse of space all around me and I could see multitudes of expressions in the sky – day and night. I could walk outside for hours in certain directions and only see wildlife. On these walks my thoughts started to really emerge from their dim corner. I felt as if I could fully exhale, as part of my personality tumbled forth in glee. It’s hard to describe the life of this process, given its intangible nature.
The second thing to happen was that one of my closest friends got very ill. While she’s doing okay now, at one point (for many weeks) she would sometimes have absolutely no energy to be able to have a conversation over chat. So, I needed a way to share some of my news, as well as much of my silliness, over time zones in a non-demanding way. It was this need that really galvanized my efforts on creating this space of mine on the internet that you see today.
As with everything, there is always a journey to be had. You will see part of my journey in these posts, as I get comfortable with sharing this part of myself along with my projects and reactions to new things that I try.
In order to rediscover this part of myself, I had to experience this new physical environment within which I had found myself, and I had to let it change me a bit so I could adapt anew. It really is the journey that one must savour, so that’s what I’m finally doing!